How to talk to your children about separation
You do not need the perfect words. You need two messages, said clearly and said more than once.
5 June 2026
Free reading
Quiet reading for the hard days
Some days you do not need a course or a plan. You just need to feel a little less alone in it.
I write about separation as it really is, the practical parts and the tender ones. Read what speaks to you and leave the rest for another day. It is all free and nothing here asks you for anything.
In brief
12 free articles on separation, written for mothers in New Zealand. They cover supporting your children, money and relationship property, co-parenting, making decisions, and finding your feet again.
Written by Jess Drayton, a separation coach in Wellington who has been through it herself. None of it is legal or clinical advice.
Supporting your children
When your child blames you for the separation
One of the hardest moments, and what actually helps.
11 June 2026
When your child cries for the other parent at bedtime
It is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign that something is very right.
6 June 2026
What children need when their parents separate
Children are more adaptable than we fear and more perceptive than we expect. Understanding both changes how you approach the hard conversations.
27 August 2026
Money, property and the practical side
Child support in New Zealand
The Inland Revenue calculation is a starting point. What actually works for your family is something you have to design.
28 May 2026
Relationship property, explained in plain English
When the financial side of separation comes into view, the legal language can feel like the hardest wall to get through, and understanding what the terms actually mean is where to start.
25 May 2026
Your first budget after separation
Managing money alone as the sole decision-maker for a household with children is a different weight entirely, and this is where to start.
21 May 2026
Co-parenting
Co-parenting when you can barely co-exist
You do not have to have a good relationship with your former partner to have a workable one.
6 August 2026
Decisions and daily life
Making decisions when you cannot think clearly
Separation arrives with a full inbox of decisions you did not ask for. Here is what helps when your capacity is already stretched.
23 August 2026
Finding your feet
The first weeks after separation
The first weeks rarely look like the version we imagine in advance. What helps is not a plan. It is a way to get through today.
5 July 2026
How long separation recovery actually takes
Four months after my own separation, I still felt as though I was underwater.
18 July 2026
Who am I now, after separation
When your relationship ends, so does the version of yourself that existed inside it.
11 August 2026
If reading is not what you need today
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